With a grandiose scheme in my head.
To mark our independence
With a rhyme in attendance
So please read on to see what I said.
Said myself while composing this limerick
'Finding rhymes gives me quite a big kick’
And I know that my verse
Is sarcastic and terse
Or silly and scant- take your pick!
My poem presenting this rhyme,
Which follows the scheme in my time
Need not be what we call
A true Limerick at all
Like a lemon, the cousin of lime.
Yet my limerick a lemon can be,
You could use a small slice for your tea.
Do not take it too serious
Please don’t get delirious,
They’re just jumbled up words from Hanney!
This piece is just right for my show
It’s of random events we all know
Please don’t launch an Appeal,
I’m just keeping it real
On the good and the bad; here we go…!
There is a great land named Nigeria
Whose chaos level was superior.
Strife and trouble there reigned,
Greed, corruption sustained
So much so this land became inferior!
As this nation marks its independence
With governor’s and Kings in attendance.
They’ll pretend all is fine,
And ignore our decline
Notwithstanding our near non-existence
Now onto our President Goodluck,
Whose luck seems to have come unstuck.
Once did not have a shoe
Now he aint got a clue
How to undo the troubles running amok.
When fate picked our Johnny to rule,
It seemed cool; at least he’d been to school.
But it soon became apparent
That his actions were errant
Now he looks like a cruel April fool!
Diezani is the Queen of our land,
She’s in command of the grand oil gland.
But with all of her wheeling,
And dealing, the feeling
Is she’ll one day be in EFCC’s hand
Abati, that wonderful fella,
In the past he produced a top sella.
As a genius, he's hailed,
Yet he’s frequently failed
Now his speeches are pitched arcapella.
Farqouq Lawan I really admired,
Until he fell for that bribe and got fired.
Even if it was a set up,
His let up and get up
May stop him in future getting hired.
Edwin Clark’s old enough to be Granddad,
But my word, he is such a big fad.
He talks all this rubbish
Of conspiracy skirmish,
‘Zip it Sir, your case really is sad!’
One can’t bypass A.G Adoke,
Not my favourite man I must say.
He’s a lawyer like me,
So with legal espirt
I’ll delay to display his dossier.
Mark’s assent as Senate President,
Does ferment that scent of dissent.
A successful Legislator,
And a peace regulator.
It must be because he is a Gent.
Asari Dokubo aired his contention,
to peers at a recent convention.
He warned all opposing Johnny,
(Mujahedeen’s’ way of making money),
He’s a Moron out to cause more tension.
A lady named Obi Ezekwesili
Is the epitome of an African Lilly,
We need her likes in our throngs,
To correct some of our wrongs.
She’s a person with values sincerely.
The best officer has got to be Fashola,
He channels the popularity of Abiola.
One wishes he’d compete
For the President’s seat
And you can shout that from a high Gondola.
The slayers named Boko Haram,
Just kill without giving a damn,
Their demands are outrageous
Uncourageous and disadvantageous
One can’t wait till they’re caught in a jam.
Those who bomb people’s houses and churches,
Are hell-bound, this is from the researches.
Why should you declare war
On one’s worshiping door
When you take no insult on your perches?
The leak in our force is amazing,
Now top secret info is appraising,
Yes I heard from a Sarge,
That it’s thought by and large
In the SS some spies are hell raising.
NEPA’s well on its way to restore?
But it just seems as dark as before!
A few hours of light
Is no cause for delight.
We need constant electricity galore!
We don’t have a national airline to fly.
Most of our planes are not fit for the sky.
It’s bad that a nation
With a high population
Have passengers always on standby
Going to market makes one feel apprehensive
Because everything there’s so expensive
How can Nigerians survive
In this state of deprive?
It’s no wonder the nation’s so pensive.
See our roads with their craters so large,
So big they resemble a barge.
But our maintenance habit
Is not fit for a rabbit
And you can bet that it’s not free of charge.
A talented young Nigerian named Bob,
Had a Masters Degree but no job.
Cause the unemployment figure
Had grown bigger and bigger
So to make ends meet, he would rob.
Some entrepreneurs in debt far too deep
Were living a life that’s not cheap.
Now the banks in all zones
Stopped from giving them loans
They thought they will not sow but just reap.
The opposition is being so lame,
One must think, what’s the point of their aim?
If they cant all unite
For the 2015 fight
They must know they have lost in that game!
From subsidy to five hundred naira notes,
To ‘don’t give a damn’ and similar quotes,
Government’s not done so well,
In a minute they fell
A sinking ship like with Titanic’s boats!
The insecurity and lack of fuel,
Is a mark of incessant misrule.
Our life is absurd
and from this I’ve inferred
There’s a need for government renewal.
Those that are Northern are so lazy,
Now some Hausas are religion crazy.
How can the region progress
With so much distress?
Get it together or your future is hazy!
The snag of Arewa is the leaders,
Where octogenarians are still the main feeders.
Instead of educating their fleet,
Take their kids from the street,
They are bent on remaining the breeders.
There is nothing amiss in the East,
Igbo’s are hard working and creative at least.
But their thirst to get rich,
Is their hitch and main glitch
And they must get their unity increased.
Our most sophisticated come from the West,
Maybe because they are education obsessed.
But it’s hard to give trust,
When their word they adjust
Still Yoruba’s have impressed in their test.
‘THE OIL IS OURS!’ –‘Yes we’ve heard!’
The South-South proclaim- ‘How absurd!’
But the truth of the story,
An example’s Ibori
Are their poor have no benefit conferred.
Our nation is a federation of tribes,
This transcribes variant opposite vibes.
They dislike one another,
Reject their brother
And reduce each other with jibes.
It’s a custom in these our parts,
To draw ethnic dichotomy charts.
Those that hate with such ease,
Harbour a grave disease;
One that eats up the good in their hearts.
I hope Nigeria as one will pull through.
But it’s just not by force -that’s my view.
So let’s waiver the raver.
‘No one’s doing me a favour!’
Each can survive on their own; and that’s true!
For Nigerians to explain their desire
we must know just what word we require.
When we become objective,
Think as one collective
it’s from bad governance that we really ‘don tire!’
North, South, West, East must stand up together,
To overcome this most turbulent weather.
Treat all with respect,
Drop abuse and suspect.
Let disdain reach the end of its tether.
Peace and unity, that is the key,
our forefathers on this did agree.
Now they’ve gone to their grave,
Look how we misbehave.
If they knew, broken hearted they’d be.
See the labour of our heroes thus past,
Feel the ‘call and obey’ that is asked;
Turn and give me your hand,
Let us stand as once planned;
Give Nigeria a peace that will last!
I know my words often causes despair.
But I've no notion to tear out your hair.
I just speak for the mass
Who have no voice Alas!
Those I mentioned, I hope you’re aware.
When we celebrate on the 1st of October,
Let’s all pray for peace, but moreover
Let us thank God for all,
Our fortune’s not small.
Let’s be fair, let’s be just, LET’S GET SOBER!
(OK, I’ll Stop there….Happy Independence Week and Day to every Nigerian!)