Tuesday, 18 September 2012


Hello peeps,   I hope the week is treating you fairly? For some days now, I have been so bothered on why all the news items on women are negative; am not talking about politicians, but every day people.

I had a really heated conversation with a male friend this morning, he claims to have had a lot of experiences with the female folks and so said a lot. I did not totally agree with him, but really, what we talked about have become deep thoughts in my heart.

He believes a large amount of ladies have bad pasts which seem to rule them. He thinks that with all these issues, they are not bold enough to earn remarkable accomplishments; that they ride under the shadows of others.

So what is past anyway? It’s simply something that happened before. Bad pasts are then, ‘bad things’ that happened to or were carried out by someone before. These bad things could be promiscuity, rape, child abuse/molestation, murder, abortion, being an ex-convict, blackmailing, stealing (thief), lying (liar), fraudulence, irresponsibility, e.t.c.

The thing about bad pasts is that they leave behind stigmas that could carry on one’s lifetime. In fact, for some, they are described by what they did or happened to them in the past. So, years after something happened, everyone still attaches it to a person.

In most cases, this causes a lot of harm for the victim. The person develops a low self-esteem, becomes unproductive, blames everyone, blames herself all her life, hallucinates, becomes suicidal and this is to mention a few.

You have a past, and so what! I have a past, you have a past, we may all just have pasts. What differs us could just be the degree of the action carried out in the past.

My problem this day is this; why would one fall into the mud and prefer to stay there crying and languishing in self-pity, when one could have gotten up, cleaned up and be ‘good to go.’

It is really hard to let go of the past because, it comes back to us in the pictures of our hearts or what people say and think of us every day. I don’t care what the past may have been; I just want to make sure my future is enviable. What about you?

I must let you know that most times, nobody really cares about you. It’s up to you to decide what you want for yourself and act at it. You tried and failed so many times- and so? Nobody will ever trust you again-that’s a big lie.

When you do not make a positive and consistent effort from your past, the world is therefore permitted to believe that your past still rules you.


-         Share it with someone you can trust

-         Open up your mind to solutions

-         If you need to forgive, please do

-         Think about what good things you desire from life

-         With help, make developmental goals

-         Always talk to that person you can trust

-         Work tirelessly  to achieve your goals

-         Don’t give up

If you are really being seriously hunted by your past, you have to seek help from someone; this prevents you from having serious depression to the point of committing suicide.

Some ladies have come out of relationships that have carved their lives forever. They now believe they are not good enough for a good man, simply because it did not work out with one.  This one is an issue for another day.

You must know that you are valuable and peculiar; you can offer a lot of positivity to your world.

Do you want the past to hold you down?



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