The Woman a Man Brags About.

There was this chic who had a highly placed man, hired assassins were sent to kill the guy. When they got to the guy's house, he had gone out but the chic was home, they insisted on waiting. Nice Rita went into the kitchen, brought out her Afang soup from the freezer, made Fufu and served all of them and they ate. At the end of the meal, they presented a picture to her and she said she recognised the guy who was her man's friend. They confessed their mission to her and told her they couldn't hurt her after being so nice to them. They told her they couldn't kill the guy and they left. She wept blue black till he returned. This happened for real many years ago in Akwa-Ibom state of Nigeria to someone I know.

You know how quiet some people are and so they just take a lot of things for granted. When you enter a man's life, you will be meeting his friends (the wild, crazy, extrovert, introverts, simple and more), family, business associates, even exes, e.t.c. You must learn people skills now that you can because it will save you a lot of stress. It is hard but you have to make efforts to get along rather than always complaining about Friend A or Sister D.

I have discovered that our role to our men is far beyond petting, necking, shopping, cooking for and just looking nice. It is serious business. We really have to develop ourselves with qualities that would make a man treasure us for life. 

Rita just showed how important it is to be nice and hospitable. For another woman it could be another area of gifting. Find what you have and make good use of it.

We should stop looking for what to get but what to give.  We must make ourselves valuable now that we have all the time in the world. A real man respects a woman who has something good to offer to him and his children. No man wants a liability.

You really do not have to wait to be engaged or married before you learn how to cook. When growing up, I had seen a man who sent a lady he married out of the house until she learnt how to cook. This is the time to learn how to take responsibilities because you will  not just be responsible for yourself anymore but for your husband and what he represents, his family, your children and so on. You don't want to  wait till you are married before you start learning what you could learn now.

You must identify what you want to offer in life. Stop waiting to be spoon fed. Most ladies in Nigeria have a mindset that a man should provide everything and so we just sit down and wait for a rich man to show up in our lives. Think of valuable things that interest you and do them. Develop yourself, improve your etiquette, lift someone up, learn something new, do something charitable. Do something you can be proud of- just do something. It gives you some level of confidence.

It is true that many Nigerian ladies are hot, beautiful, sexy -just name it. We know how to get men in the twinkle of an eye. How many of us really know how to keep them? I believe the world is evolving way beyond the looks, account balance, style and all (even though they are highly important). We need to start being ourselves. Have a value and stand up to it, no man will kill you for thinking in a certain way, he accepts it, rejects it or can handle it. 

Many ladies hide who they are or what they want and then 3 months down the road, we start making strange complaints and the guy thinks you are changing into something he cannot understand. The truth of the matter is that you never showed who you were from the beginning. Don't hide who you are from the beginning- it never works. Bare it all

There is so much we can be, stop ‘lazying’ around. Make yourself someone you can be proud of any day and time. Cut the E News and African Magic; add some value to yourself when you can.

Ms Umosen....... love yourself, others will love you too.